Many people have heard me tell about the drive back from the beach in August of 2011 that changed my life. On that drive I realized my personal life had to change. I wasn’t happy in my marriage, but I caught the vision of what was possible for me in a loving relationship.
I envisioned a fully connected, communicative relationship with a mate who loved life, people and nature as much as I did. I envisioned someone with whom I could co-create an amazing life.
Something’s Got to Change, And It’s Me
I wasn’t sure if the relationship I was in would change or whether someone new would enter my life, but I determined that in two years’ time my life would be different. This stale, unconnected relationship would be a thing of the past, and I’d be in a great relationship. How would this happen? I knew I couldn’t change anyone else. So I started with myself. I had to BE someone different, better, more in shape and more inspiring.
The next two years were spent working on me and trying to love and accept the man I was with. I shed 52 pounds along the way and became certified in SimplyHealedTM so I could better process my emotions and improve myself.
Finally, I admitted my marriage simply couldn’t be revived. My divorce was final in August of 2013. Over the course of those two years, I fine-tuned what I call my SAM list. SAM stands for Spot A Mercy. I made a list of the ways I wanted to be treated and the interactions I’d like to have in my life. I started looking for ways core needs and desires were met each day. I journaled anytime anyone or anything came through for me in SAM ways.
- Gives me a hug when I need one
- Makes me laugh
- Comes to my rescue
- Engages in a deep, meaningful conversation with me.
The list is quite lengthy. At the end of a day, I’d make a note of SAM moments. For example, it might be my son who gave me the hug, the dog who made me laugh, an older man at the landfill who came to my rescue and helped me unload my trash, or it might be a girlfriend who engaged in a deep meaningful conversation with me.
I began to see that God was taking care of me through the people in my life. As John and Stasi Eldredge said in their book, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul, “God was romancing me.”
This was the beginning of my quest for love.
In the meantime, let me ask you, are you taking time to identify what makes you happy and are you making a daily note of God’s tender mercies in your life? I challenge you to make your own SAM list and start spotting those mercies!