validate yourself

Validate Yourself: Stop Waiting for Someone Else to Do It

I think many of us are waiting for someone else to validate us, to make us feel like we hold value. I’ve spent most of my life waiting for someone else to see all the aspects of me and appreciate me for everything I am.

Probably only a handful of people (including my parents) have come close to seeing all of me and valuing and loving me unconditionally. I am immensely grateful for them.

Throughout my life I’ve gotten aggravated that significant others weren’t seeing the full real me. But the truth is, I wasn’t fully honoring, acknowledging, valuing or respecting myself. It finally dawned on me that I needed to stop waiting for someone else to validate me.

I was the one discounting my gifts. I was the one assuming that things that come easily to me come easily for everyone. They don’t. I wasn’t seeing, acknowledging or honoring my giving, loving heart or my kindness. I wasn’t honoring my compassion, resiliency or wisdom.

I assumed everyone is wired like me. And they aren’t. I have gifts, qualities, and inner strengths that are unique to me. They are important. They contribute to the world and enrich the lives of the people around me.

The shift came when I stopped blaming men, clients or the world for not taking the time to really know or value me. I had to stop playing the victim and own my role. There was only one person to blame and that was me. I was the one who didn’t step up for me. I was the one who hadn’t given me the validation I deserved. I’ve always been able to see the greatness in others, why wouldn’t I see it in myself?

It’s extremely liberating to realize you don’t need someone else to come along and validate you. How could anyone else truly value me and my qualities if I don’t value myself?

What about you? Have you ever taken the time to stop and celebrate your accomplishments, acknowledge the hard things you’ve been through and risen above? Have you itemized your good qualities? Have you witnessed and documented your own character growth?

A little bit of journaling on this could shift everything for you. I highly recommend it. Within your story, within your greatness you may also find that you have something priceless to share.

Affirmations: Validate Yourself

  • I see and embrace my own infinite worth.
  • I value myself.
  • I let go of waiting for other people to validate me.
  • I validate myself.
  • I see, acknowledge and appreciate my talents, gifts, abilities, temperament, personality, and strengths.
  • I am compassionate with myself.
  • I acknowledge the difficulties I’ve endured and the growth I’ve made.
  • I celebrate my successes and I see my own character development over time.
  • I forgive myself for what I perceive as past mistakes.
  • I trust myself to move forward in positive and ever-improving ways.

Additional Resource

validate yourself - radiate your truth worthRadiate Your True Value: Command What You’re Worth

Are you valuing yourself and your true worth? If not, it could be affecting your business and your bottom line. In this energy-shifting audio we’ll connect you up to your value and release anything standing in the way of you accepting and feeling your true worth.

Length: 60 minutes
Audio Download and Handout: $17

 

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

talking head videos

Talking Head Videos In 5 Simple Steps

When you need to create great talking head videos for your business you need to be at your best. People sense if you are feeling down, scattered or frustrated. It bleeds through into your video.

What do you do when you need to create talking head videos, but you can’t seem to zone in on doing it right? It can be very frustrating. Especially so if you’re all dressed up and your hair and make-up turned out just right, but you can’t seem to stop tripping over your words.

If you want to create great talking head videos, 99% of it is in your mind and in your attitude. If you can get your mind and energy right, everything else will fall into place.

Here are five simple steps to creating those great talking head videos.

1. Call Back your Energy for Talking Head Videos

Many times we’re unable to focus because we’re too concerned about other things. Maybe your child is having some issues. Or maybe your sister’s going through a divorce. Maybe you’re concerned about your own future. All that energy dispersal is leaving you little for the task at hand, so call it back. Here’s an exercise I use.

call back your energy like you're gathering flowersOutstretch your arms and make a gathering motion like you’re gathering arms-full of flowers. Make this gathering motion as you say each statement aloud. You will replace the words in brackets with whatever is relevant to you.

  • I take back my energy from [my sister’s life].
  • I take back my energy from [my children’s lives].
  • I take back my energy from concerns and regrets of the past.
  • I take back my energy from concerns about the future.

Add your own statements. Be thorough! Keep calling your energy back from wherever it may be dispersed. At the end, hug yourself for a few minutes. Take several deep breaths. As you do, think of releasing all the worry/concern and breathing in all the energy that is now yours to be focused.

2. Decide the Outcome You Want Your Viewer to Experience

  • Do you want them to have more hope about their situation?
  • Do you want them to come away knowing how to do something specific?
  • Do you want them to feel compelled to work with you?
  • Do you want them to sign up for what you’re giving away?
  • Perhaps you want them to feel inspired, happy, motivated, understood?

3. Relax and Trust That You Can Do This

Now, here are a few more affirmations for you in preparation for filming.

  • I am focused and clear about what I want to say.
  • I easily create this video.
  • The words are given to me in the moment that I need them.
  • I relax and trust the process.
  • I can easily create a compelling video quickly and smoothly.
  • I trust that the people who watch my video will receive exactly what they need.
  • When people watch this video, they will [feel/experience … insert your desired outcome here].

4. Say a Little Prayer

That’s what Mama always taught me to do before a quiz or test or whenever I needed a little extra help. I think it’s fantastic advice. Say a little prayer and ask that people will get what they need, that you’ll be given the right words and that it will flow easily from you.

5. Do It! Pick up that Camera and Shoot!

Learn more about mindset and energy shifting here.

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Obtain the One Thing You Want Most in 2016

I conducted an informal Facebook poll asking people to share with me one thing they’d like to be, do or have in 2016. The list they came up with was rather interesting. Some people listed more than one thing. Below are the answers given and the percentage number of times each showed up.

  • Peace — 18.18%
  • Health — 12.12%
  • Wealth/Financial Goal  — 12.12%
  • Be a better person  — 9.09%
  • Love  — 9.09%
  • Career Goals  — 6.06%
  • Move  — 6.06%
  • Travel  — 6.06%
  • Weight Loss  — 6.06%
  • Confidence  — 3.03%
  • Growth  — 3.03%
  • Independence  — 3.03%
  • Be Present (In the moment) — 3.03%
  • Retired  — 3.03%

obtain what you want in 2016I found it interesting that 70% of the answers have to do with “BEing” more than “HAVEing” or “Doing.” It’s those lovely intangibles (and un-quantifiables) that we crave most. Yet, most of us don’t know how to obtain them or how to measure if we’re succeeding at obtaining them.

For example, how do you intend to know whether you have more peace at the end of 2016 than you have today? How will you know if you have more confidence?

Create a Snapshot

If you’re someone who wants more Peace in your life in 2016, I’d invite you to analyze what peace means to you. Describe what that entails. For example, let’s say peace means harmony in your home. What does that look like? Here are some possibilities:

  • Your children doing what they’re asked without talking back.
  • Fewer arguments between siblings.
  • You and your spouse coming up with a harmonious system for dividing household responsibilities.
  • Fewer angry phone and text conversations with your ex.

Rate how much peace you have in your life right now on a scale of 1-10 for each of these areas. This will give you a “snapshot” of how much peace you have in your life right now.

Be sure to include areas that are already peaceful for you. Perhaps your finances run smoothly. You live in a peaceful neighborhood. Your kids are getting along well at school. Include all the good things that are happening NOW in your list and rate those. This will give you a more complete snapshot of “Peace” that will help you measure the difference at the end of the year.

Evaluate As You Go Along

Save your snapshot somewhere you can easily find it.  Monthly or quarterly, rate those areas again. How well are you doing?

In other words, take the typically un-quantifiable and quantify it by rating it now and at periodic checkpoints throughout the year.

Are you ready for a New You in the New Year? Pick up my 75+ affirmations for the New Year here.

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Quest for Love: Where Does Change Begin?

Many people have heard me tell about the drive back from the beach in August of 2011 that changed my life. On that drive I realized my personal life had to change. I wasn’t happy in my marriage, but I caught the vision of what was possible for me in a loving relationship.

I envisioned a fully connected, communicative relationship with a mate who loved life, people and nature as much as I did. I envisioned someone with whom I could co-create an amazing life.

Something’s Got to Change, And It’s Me

I wasn’t sure if the relationship I was in would change or whether someone new would enter my life, but I determined that in two years’ time my life would be different. This stale, unconnected relationship would be a thing of the past, and I’d be in a great relationship. How would this happen? I knew I couldn’t change anyone else. So I started with myself. I had to BE someone different, better, more in shape and more inspiring.

The next two years were spent working on me and trying to love and accept the man I was with. I shed 52 pounds along the way and became certified in SimplyHealedTM so I could better process my emotions and improve myself.

Finally, I admitted my marriage simply couldn’t be revived. My divorce was final in August of 2013. Over the course of those two years, I fine-tuned what I call my SAM list. SAM stands for Spot A Mercy. I made a list of the ways I wanted to be treated and the interactions I’d like to have in my life. I started looking for ways core needs and desires were met each day. I journaled anytime anyone or anything came through for me in SAM ways.

SAM-Part1-TenderMerciesFor example, my list included things like:

  • Gives me a hug when I need one
  • Makes me laugh
  • Comes to my rescue
  • Engages in a deep, meaningful conversation with me.

The list is quite lengthy. At the end of a day, I’d make a note of SAM moments. For example, it might be my son who gave me the hug, the dog who made me laugh, an older man at the landfill who came to my rescue and helped me unload my trash, or it might be a girlfriend who engaged in a deep meaningful conversation with me.

I began to see that God was taking care of me through the people in my life. As John and Stasi Eldredge said in their book, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul, “God was romancing me.”

This was the beginning of my quest for love.

In the meantime, let me ask you, are you taking time to identify what makes you happy and are you making a daily note of God’s tender mercies in your life? I challenge you to make your own SAM list and start spotting those mercies!

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Affirmations for When You Messed Up

Have you ever prayed for an opportunity, and then when it came you royally messed it up? Old habits, over-zealous desires, unhealed wounds or fears got in your way. You may have made unwise or unhealthy choices as a result.

You may even feel like your mistakes have taken you so off course you will never find your way again. This can be a very hopeless, frightening and lonely place to be. You may feel as if God let you down or that you have betrayed yourself.

Today I’d like to share a few affirmations that might help if you or someone you love is in such a place.

  • I am walking in the light.
  • I am 100% connected to Christ and the power of His atonement.
  • I am 100% connected to the Spirit of God.
  • I continue to be divinely guided and protected.
  • I am 100% connected to my highest best self.
  • I completely forgive myself for past mistakes.
  • I forgive God for unanswered prayers, or prayers that were answered in ways I do not like or cannot understand.
  • I invite and allow Christ to heal my scars.
  • I look for good to come from my past and expect all things to work together for my good.
  • I am stronger for my choices.
  • I trust myself to make correct choices.
  • I am fully connected to my personal power to make good, healthy choices.
  • I release any feelings of powerlessness.
  • I take back my power from the adversary, from anyone or anything that has taken my power or to which I have given my power.
  • I am free to create differently today than I ever have before.

i am free to create differently today

  • I use each new day as a way to expand my possibilities and step into my greatness.
  • I am doing amazing things and trust the process of my becoming.
  • I am strong and resilient.
  • I easily and swiftly recover from setbacks.
  • I am filled with hope.
  • My future is bright.
  • I am worthy and deserving of all the good life has to offer.
  • I am fully open to receiving the good.

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Busting the Worthiness Myth

One of the most common issues that come up for my energy therapy clients are feelings of unworthiness. Many of us feel unworthy of the abundance, blessings and desires of our hearts. Because we feel unworthy, we actually block our ability to receive good things.

Perhaps the reason why almost everyone feels unworthy is because while others do not hear our innermost thoughts or see our private actions, we do. We know our own flaws. We are intimately acquainted with our weaknesses and imperfections. Many keep a running list of all the mistakes they’ve made.

The thing is… EVERYONE is imperfect, weak and makes mistakes. I don’t care if you take the most perfect person you’ve ever met, that person still has his or her flaws. They have some skeleton they’d rather not let out of the closet. If we all waited around to be perfect until we were worthy to step up and do what we’re here to do, nothing would get done.

Yet we let feelings of unworthiness keep us from…

  • Calling upon God for help.
  • Believing that we’ll get help with our financial situations, relationships, careers, etc.
  • Stepping out and doing what we feel we’re here to do.


you are worthy quote brene brownYou are worthy. You’re a child of God. It’s one of the most insidious lies that has ever been fed to humanity that you aren’t worthy of His provision, that you are not worthy of His love, or that you are unworthy of His ear or His aid.

If you feel like you have areas you could improve and you have no idea how you’d ever be able to do so, a desire for the desire is enough. Tell God you’d like to have a greater desire to “do the right thing” in that area. He will help you. He won’t condemn you.

Come to Him, be honest with Him … even about your feelings of frustration and lack of trust in Him. Be honest with Him about the areas of your life that are out of alignment with His laws. Tell Him how hard it is for you to change or act differently. Ask for His help (even if there’s a part of you that doesn’t want it). He will not fail you.

You may not instantaneously develop willpower of steel or perfect thoughts and actions, but He will guide you toward better, more balanced choices. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small improvements.

I believe one of the keys to improving ourselves and our situations is understanding we are worthy to pray and get answers. We’re worthy to receive and expect God’s help. He isn’t punishing you for your bad choices. What is BLOCKING good things from coming to you is your inability to receive because you’ve cut yourself off from Him through feelings of unworthiness.

If you question your worthiness, try acting as if you are worthy. You will be amazed at how your choices improve and how things start to flow toward you.

Affirmations that may be helpful:

  • I am a child of God and worthy of His love, belonging and aid.
  • I am worthy and deserving of God’s abundance.
  • I am worthy and deserving to receive God’s help with my (financial situation, relationships, children, career, business, etc.)
  • I call upon God and He hears and answers me.
  • I release guilt and shame over past mistakes.
  • I learn from my mistakes, and they make me a better person.
  • I forgive myself for any choices that have been less than ideal.
  • I trust God to guide me in making optimal choices.
  • I am open to hearing God’s voice.
  • I am worthy and deserving of God answering my prayers.
  • God is always opening doors that lead me to better places. I am open to seeing and walking through them.

My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

The Whispered Dream

Your dreams whisper to you … heed their call and co-create them with God. This is an extemporaneous piano creation I recorded tonight and set to some of my photography. I decided to also add some affirmations to support you in your dreams. I hope you enjoy it!

If having a joyful life of influence is part of your big vision, I’d love to support you in it

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Life Affirmations from Dolphins

Surrounding us in nature are clues about how to live happy, abundant lives. Animals, in particular, can illustrate valuable character traits and ways of being that would benefit us to emulate.

Today I was reading about the character traits of dolphins and realized how powerful and transformative “dolphin affirmations” could be, so I put together this short little video. Take a minute to sit back and absorb the wisdom of dolphins.

 


dolphin affirmations

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.