create the love you desire bednar quote

Quest for Love: Create the Love You Desire

[This post is the third in a series where I’m sharing my journey with re-inventing my personal life. If you want to start at the beginning, go here. If you missed the 2nd post, go here.]

About the time I started dating Chris Marcus, I found this quote by Susan Bednar:

“Rather than expecting to ‘fall in love,’ pick someone with whom you can create the love that you desire.”

I had a strong feeling that this was a man with whom I could create the love I desired. But my heart still hadn’t fully healed from the last crushing blow. I was over the other guy, but I was jaded and fearful about trusting any man with my heart. I moved forward, but I could tell I wasn’t opening my heart fully.

While the chemistry was great with Chris, my brain was at the controls and told my hormones to take a back seat. They weren’t allowed to drive the train this time.

So from this very cerebral place, I approached a budding relationship with a man who fit my affirmations to a T. One night he even referred to me as a “pearl of great price.” My jaw dropped since it was an analogy straight from my affirmations list. What’s more, he instantly saw my value and said his search was over after the first date! (The affirmation was: “My man easily commits to me. He instantly sees my value and snatches me up because he knows he’s found a priceless pearl.”)

create the love you desire bednar quoteOne of my affirmations was “My man pursues me.”  Chris is a cop, and he knows how to pursue! While he was immediately convinced I was the woman he wanted, I needed more time. Primarily, time to find the ability to trust myself again.

After about 9 dates with him, I took a trip to Utah and Idaho for 24 days. Every morning I’d wake up with Chris on my mind. Was he my SAM?

I didn’t want to hurt him or lead him on. He happened to be the son of one of my very good friends. His mom was my Sunday School teacher when I was 10 to 11-years-old, and I’ve been her visiting teacher at church for the last 3 years. She was pivotal in helping me get through the divorce. My fondness for her made me extra cautious about not doing anything to hurt Chris.

I also didn’t want to be hurt again. My heart had been hammered, and it was extremely reluctant to open up again.

Was it safe to open my heart?

The days of prayer marched on without a clear answer. Some days I felt like he was who I’d been searching for. Other days I didn’t know. Finally, on the Monday before I returned home, I was conducting a writer retreat with my friend Martina Muir. It was the first day of the retreat and before everyone arrived, Martina did a little energy therapy with me and discovered that my heart had assigned my “SAM” to the man who had broken my heart.

She disconnected it from him and reconnected SAM to God. She told me, “When you find a man who treats you like the Savior would, you will know you have found your SAM.”

Later that evening I was sitting outside on the back steps of the retreat house, texting Chris when out of the blue this download of divine love for him poured into my heart and mind. I can’t adequately put the feeling into words. It was a love like nothing I’ve ever experienced. A heavenly love and knowledge that told me this man would love me like I’d never been loved before. This man would value me and be fertile soil in which my life would flourish. This was a man I could co-create the love I’d longed for.

Ask yourself, are you valuing yourself? Are you looking for supportive people to add to your life who will treat you as the Savior would?

Click here to read the next piece of the story

 

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

deciding which product to create

Making Choices: Selecting an Idea to Pursue

  • Do you have trouble making choices about which idea to pursue?
  • Do you find yourself perpetually taking trainings and learning new things, but never really implementing?
  • Do you have so many ideas it feels impossible to choose one direction and follow it?
  • Do you feel like there’s so much more to learn, you aren’t “ready” to actually run with any one business idea?

If so, I want you to know you’re not alone. There are lots of people like you who are ever learning but have trouble implementing. A lot of it has to do with your core connecting style, which I’d guess is probably one who sees lots of POTENTIAL. Folks like this (and I’m one of them) have a hard time choosing one thing because we feel like we’re sacrificing all the other choices.

People who operate from a POTENTIAL core also feel they never know enough because there is always more to learn. This creates a perfectionism that can cause you to stay in endless prep mode.

making choicesHalf the battle is realizing that this is the nature of your personality type and to FORCE yourself to choose a path. Often the path you choose is not as important as that you choose SOMETHING.

I know it seems like a leap, but if you zone in on one focus, and avoid the tendency to veer off into something else, you’ll start to see real progress.

I will warn you that when you do choose one path, you will most likely panic at first because you will feel the need to MOURN the other paths you’re not choosing. That’s okay. Just acknowledge that feeling for what it is and move on with your focus.

Making Choices Doesn’t Have to Be Difficult

If you’re having trouble picking an idea to pursue, I invite you to watch this video tutorial. In it, I share a formula for evaluating your ideas in a clear, definitive way so you can make choices quickly and start making money from them.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Fine Tuning Your Dreams

old radioI’m noticing that as you approach your dream, there seems to be a fine tuning process. You know how on old radios you turn the dial to find a station and you start picking up something? It’s fuzzy at first, then a little clearer, a little clearer, clearer, until you know you are precise enough that the music comes through loud and strong.

As you maintain your vision and act on inspiration, you’ll be brought opportunities that are close to what you want, then even closer, and closer, and then so close you might think you’ve got it, but one more tiny adjustment and POP, you’ve found the clear channel. This is the opportunity you seize because it’s the one you’ve been waiting for.

There is a temptation to settle for “close enough”… but wait, let the opportunity have some growing room, see if it holds or if the static returns. Ask, listen and if the clarity holds, seize your dream. It’s yours. If it doesn’t hold, maintain your hope and vision. Something better’s just around the corner. And when it arrives, you’ll know why you never would’ve wanted to settle for the previous opportunities.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Grow Your Business With My Simple Calendaring System

The new year is fast approaching and the best way to grow your business is to leverage the power of planning. In this video I give you a peak inside my own business.

This morning I worked on my training calendar for the next 6 months and decided to create a video to show you my process in action. I spent about an hour on this calendaring process. But it will make a huge impact on my business in the coming year.

CalendaringThis is just the first phase of my calendaring process. The next phase is mapping out my marketing calendar so I know what to do each day to promote my programs effectively. For my marketing calendar templates and system, look into How to Streamline Your Marketing and Fill Your Programs” system.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Beware of the First Thing That Comes Along

When one begins creating a better life, she must often let go of what isn’t working in order to make room for what will. But beware of the first or second thing that comes along to fill the void.

If you’ve studied the power of thought on your life’s circumstances, you know to envision how your ideal life will look, feel and be. You visualize it with such certainty it feels almost tangible to you, an eventuality, not just a hope or dream for the future. It’s a legitimate creation waiting to be delivered in the timeline of your life. You believe that there’s this point in the future where everything is destined to fall into place in a magical, perfect way. It’s like having placed an order on Amazon and awaiting the eventual delivery of your package.

You’re convinced it’s just around the corner, this magical life. You look around and you see few indications of it in reality, yet you know deep in your heart that it exists, that it’s waiting for you. You’re not really sure what the wait is about, but you keep holding hope.

Then something or someone comes along that looks like a piece to your vision. This thing, person or opportunity seems to fit so nicely into your picture, that you impulsively grab hold of it and welcome it into your life. In your zealousness to inherit your dream, you make compromises. You fill in gaps with your imagination – making this person, thing, or opportunity more than it really is.

You settle for less than you originally desired because this thing that came along is 70% or 80% of what you’re looking for. Hopefully, things won’t work out. That person or thing will leave your life. Yes, that exit can be painful. Yet, it would be better for things not to work out than for you to settle long term for that which is less than you desire.

I have discovered that the first thing that comes along is rarely “it.” The second thing that comes along probably isn’t “it” either.

Why, when you’ve been so clear in your vision, do you keep attracting things that are “close but no cigar?” I believe it happens for at least two reasons:

1)      You’re not as clear as you thought you were, and this is a chance to clarify further. Until you “try on” a few possibilities, you don’t really know what you want. As you do, you further define what you’re looking for and what you won’t settle for.

2)      There’s something in the situation you need to learn about yourself. You need to grow some more.

When you formulate a big dream, you are not the person capable of receiving that dream – at least not yet. You have to grow into the dream. If you were ready for it at inception, you’d already have it. The dream wouldn’t feel so “big,” rather it would feel more like a next step.

you didn't come this far or fight this hard to settleThis process of growing into a dream takes time and experience learning about ourselves and what needs to change in us. Sometimes the things or people that come our way aren’t part of our dream, but part of our “becoming process.” They are key ingredients in our personal growth journey that make us capable of receiving the ultimate vision.

Think twice before you settle for the first or second thing that comes along. Don’t settle. But don’t be afraid to tweak and change your vision. There could be something even better for you, and it may look different than you originally envisioned.

There is a difference between fine tuning your vision and settling. If you find yourself saying, “I’m willing to put up with this in order to get that,” note the red flag. Don’t build things into your life that you have to “put up with.” Sure, no one’s perfect; everyone has flaws. No situation is ideal.  But beware of times when you know going in that you’re going to have to “put up with something.”  It’s a sign you’re settling. Learn what you need to from this situation, but hold out for a better fit.

You didn’t come this far or fight this hard to settle.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Co-Creating with God: When Something Feels Off

A few months ago I was collaborating with someone on a fun project. This was no ordinary project. It was one that could affect the trajectory of my life. We were excited and had lots of energy and passion about the idea. My fellow collaborator and I could see the end quite vividly. We began brainstorming and having conversations about the details and were jazzed about the possibilities. Honestly, we were having a blast. I hadn’t had so much fun in years. We were both so engaged with the idea that we barreled forward like a freight train.

Yet, in the back of my mind, occasionally there would be a niggling doubt, a feeling like perhaps this wasn’t the ideal person for me to be working with on such a project. There was nothing wrong with the person that I could see, but if I was going to collaborate on this level, there needed to be a lot of compatibility. Something just felt off. But I pushed that aside because there was so much that was right. We could see and visualize so many possibilities together, that I ran forward, fueled by my enthusiasm.

Then one day, we hit a little snag in our plans — nothing big, just a bit of a disappointment. We both stepped back from the situation and from our interactions with each other. It took me no more than 24 hours of stepping back to realize that this collaboration wasn’t going to work. I experienced an overwhelming knowing that this wasn’t the right project, the right person, or the right time. The interesting thing is, the other person received the same clarity of insight, and we amicably went our separate ways.

I asked myself, “How could we both be so engaged, interested and excited about something and then lose interest literally overnight?” I think sometimes our own emotions and passions become so intense that hearing the subtle whispering of the Spirit is like trying to taste a piece of bread while eating a jalapeño.

For me, in this experience, the whispering of the Spirit sounded like occasional doubts, uncertainties, or a feeling that I was missing some important information. In my excitement for the project, I had begun filling in pieces to the puzzle with my own imagination, without waiting to fill them in with facts or a better understanding of my collaborative partner. I was making a lot of assumptions, but deep down, my spirit knew I was filing in gaps. My spirit knew there were compatibility issues that would cause us problems down the road.

jalepeno

Stop eating the jalapeño long enough to taste the realities of the bread. When you do, you’ll either decide you’re on the right track or it will become obvious that you aren’t.

What did I learn from this situation? Lots of things. The lesson I’d like to emphasize here is the power and perspective obtained by stepping back from a situation. If you’re heading down a road that feels fun and exciting but you have some reservations, step back. Stop eating the jalapeño long enough to taste the realities of the bread.  When you do, you’ll either decide you’re on the right track or it will become obvious that you aren’t.

Thank heavens the creative process isn’t instantaneous. If it was, we’d all create a lot of things we really don’t want in life!

Honestly, in my situation, I believe God intervened. He wasn’t going to let me make a decision that would adversely affect the trajectory of my life. Stay aligned with God; listen to the little warning signals. Pay attention to the counsel of friends who love you and see things you can’t see. Step back, take your time. There is no hurry on the creative plain.

Have you ever had a similar experience with stepping back?

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Why Do You Do What You Do?

Most of us don’t realize it, but much of our lives are created by a series of beliefs we formed in our younger years. Something happens in our lives, and we create a rule about how the world works. That rule becomes a governing belief affecting choices moving forward.

For example, I grew up going to a private school where corporal punishment was practiced. It seemed to me that children were randomly paddled for seemingly-insignificant actions. I couldn’t discern the rhyme or reason to what led to the punishment … I only knew that kids that were vocal or active got punished more than ones who were quiet.

playground swingI decided to be quiet … very quiet… invisible would be better. I wouldn’t even play with other children on the playground for fear of “getting in trouble.”

Several beliefs got formed in those early years for me.

#1 Random people are dangerous. Don’t engage with them.
#2 Lay low, keep your opinions to yourself, and you won’t get hurt.

Those rules governed a lot of my choices going forward and affected the relationships I formed. It led to a “peace at any price” philosophy that did not serve me. In the end, I rewarded with my silence actions that did not serve me or others.

Today, in my work, I listen closely to my clients for clues… analyzing why they do what they do. I’m looking for those source events and decision points where people make rules or beliefs about how the world works. Energetically those source points and false beliefs can be released. Once the energy around those points is removed, the person is free to make healthy changes and create a better life.

Nothing thrills me more than helping someone see the pattern they’ve created and release it. Knowing they can move forward unfettered by the past is downright thrilling.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Indecision Kills

I recently spoke with a retired Army officer about the analysis paralysis that plagues many creative entrepreneurs. You know what I mean . . .

– when you have so many business ideas you can’t choose one, so you do none of them, or
– you can’t figure out what to charge for that new product so you never release it, or
– you can’t decide whether you need to learn how to build your own WordPress site or outsource it, so you never get your site up.

army hatWhen I told him that analysis paralysis kills creativity and momentum for creative entrepreneurs, he said, “In the military, indecision kills people.”

Bigger stakes require learning how to make smart decisions quickly. The former officer’s ability to make swift, confident decisions intrigued me so much I decided to pick his brain on how he does it. He was kind enough to share his no-nonsense strategies. Here’s a bit of our conversation:

Me: How do you make decisions so swiftly?

Former Army Officer: Trust your gut.

Me: So you trust your gut. I think we (creative entrepreneurs) over analyze our gut feelings and go into a war between gut and logic.

Former Army Officer: Trust your gut, to the extent it is logical.

Me: LOL okay. Maybe we always feel like we’re missing data and need more, and of course there’s never enough.

Former Army Officer: The thing to remember is when you don’t make a decision, you are, in fact, actually making one (deciding not to decide), and it will be wrong almost 100% of the time. Even if you guess, you have a 50/50 shot at getting it right.

But your gut (combined with a little logic) should push the odds in your favor. Really, the hardest decisions are choosing from options that are all good or choosing from options that are all bad. Picking between a good option and a bad option is the easy one.

Me: Any advice for when the options are all good or all bad?

Former Army Officer: There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Just that if all options are good, you will get a good result. If they are all bad you will get a bad one. Knowing that going in can make the decision to decide easier.

So there you have it. I think these are wonderful guidelines for decision making, and they fit well with my business theory that any decision is often better than no decision. Remember that when you’re faced with several good options for your business, look at the info you have at hand. Then go with your gut and pick one! If you do, you will get good results and keep the momentum going in your business. If the results aren’t good enough, just tweak them as you go along. Until you get moving, you’ll never know.

Ready to break through analysis paralysis? Join me for my upcoming group energy session

Was this helpful? Please leave a comment below…

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Any Decision Is Often Better Than No Decision

One of the biggest challenges I see entrepreneurs struggle with is analysis paralysis. Even the most seasoned entrepreneur can get caught in a decision trap, not knowing which way to go.

Obsessing over which path to take kills time and creativity and keeps you from making progress toward success. Most of my friends and colleagues know me as the woman who “gets things done fast,” but even I have struggled with bouts of indecision – where I have so many options I’m unsure which one to pursue. After all, I’m only one person, and I can’t possibly take every path.

What do I do in such circumstances? Here’s the rule I keep in mind that helps me when I hit one of these perplexing crossroads.

Remember Any Decision Is Usually Better Than No Decision

Many times we get into the mindset that there is only one right decision, or one best option. In matters that have no clear moral right or wrong, I’ve found that movement trumps waiting around for the perfect answer.

If you’re not sure which path is right, use your best judgement, pick one, and commit to it fast. If it’s the wrong path, you’ll know it soon enough. Something will show up to let you know it’s a dead end or you’ll get a strong sense that you’re off path. Many times even a “less-than-ideal-path” still takes you where you need to go.

But if you stand there bewildered at the crossroad, you may never know the right road to take, and you lose important momentum. Sometimes taking the wrong road eliminates it from your choices and you have a better idea which is the best road.

This video perfectly illustrates this principle:

What about you? Have you ever committed to a road that felt right, only to take it and realize it’s the wrong road? Wrong roads are gifts … they help you get on the right path quickly and with greater assurance.

If you struggle with analysis paralysis, join me for my upcoming call on how to Break Through Decision-Making Paralysis.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.