When one begins creating a better life, she must often let go of what isn’t working in order to make room for what will. But beware of the first or second thing that comes along to fill the void.
If you’ve studied the power of thought on your life’s circumstances, you know to envision how your ideal life will look, feel and be. You visualize it with such certainty it feels almost tangible to you, an eventuality, not just a hope or dream for the future. It’s a legitimate creation waiting to be delivered in the timeline of your life. You believe that there’s this point in the future where everything is destined to fall into place in a magical, perfect way. It’s like having placed an order on Amazon and awaiting the eventual delivery of your package.
You’re convinced it’s just around the corner, this magical life. You look around and you see few indications of it in reality, yet you know deep in your heart that it exists, that it’s waiting for you. You’re not really sure what the wait is about, but you keep holding hope.
Then something or someone comes along that looks like a piece to your vision. This thing, person or opportunity seems to fit so nicely into your picture, that you impulsively grab hold of it and welcome it into your life. In your zealousness to inherit your dream, you make compromises. You fill in gaps with your imagination – making this person, thing, or opportunity more than it really is.
You settle for less than you originally desired because this thing that came along is 70% or 80% of what you’re looking for. Hopefully, things won’t work out. That person or thing will leave your life. Yes, that exit can be painful. Yet, it would be better for things not to work out than for you to settle long term for that which is less than you desire.
I have discovered that the first thing that comes along is rarely “it.” The second thing that comes along probably isn’t “it” either.
Why, when you’ve been so clear in your vision, do you keep attracting things that are “close but no cigar?” I believe it happens for at least two reasons:
1) You’re not as clear as you thought you were, and this is a chance to clarify further. Until you “try on” a few possibilities, you don’t really know what you want. As you do, you further define what you’re looking for and what you won’t settle for.
2) There’s something in the situation you need to learn about yourself. You need to grow some more.
When you formulate a big dream, you are not the person capable of receiving that dream – at least not yet. You have to grow into the dream. If you were ready for it at inception, you’d already have it. The dream wouldn’t feel so “big,” rather it would feel more like a next step.
This process of growing into a dream takes time and experience learning about ourselves and what needs to change in us. Sometimes the things or people that come our way aren’t part of our dream, but part of our “becoming process.” They are key ingredients in our personal growth journey that make us capable of receiving the ultimate vision.
Think twice before you settle for the first or second thing that comes along. Don’t settle. But don’t be afraid to tweak and change your vision. There could be something even better for you, and it may look different than you originally envisioned.
There is a difference between fine tuning your vision and settling. If you find yourself saying, “I’m willing to put up with this in order to get that,” note the red flag. Don’t build things into your life that you have to “put up with.” Sure, no one’s perfect; everyone has flaws. No situation is ideal. But beware of times when you know going in that you’re going to have to “put up with something.” It’s a sign you’re settling. Learn what you need to from this situation, but hold out for a better fit.
You didn’t come this far or fight this hard to settle.
Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.