validate yourself

Validate Yourself: Stop Waiting for Someone Else to Do It

I think many of us are waiting for someone else to validate us, to make us feel like we hold value. I’ve spent most of my life waiting for someone else to see all the aspects of me and appreciate me for everything I am.

Probably only a handful of people (including my parents) have come close to seeing all of me and valuing and loving me unconditionally. I am immensely grateful for them.

Throughout my life I’ve gotten aggravated that significant others weren’t seeing the full real me. But the truth is, I wasn’t fully honoring, acknowledging, valuing or respecting myself. It finally dawned on me that I needed to stop waiting for someone else to validate me.

I was the one discounting my gifts. I was the one assuming that things that come easily to me come easily for everyone. They don’t. I wasn’t seeing, acknowledging or honoring my giving, loving heart or my kindness. I wasn’t honoring my compassion, resiliency or wisdom.

I assumed everyone is wired like me. And they aren’t. I have gifts, qualities, and inner strengths that are unique to me. They are important. They contribute to the world and enrich the lives of the people around me.

The shift came when I stopped blaming men, clients or the world for not taking the time to really know or value me. I had to stop playing the victim and own my role. There was only one person to blame and that was me. I was the one who didn’t step up for me. I was the one who hadn’t given me the validation I deserved. I’ve always been able to see the greatness in others, why wouldn’t I see it in myself?

It’s extremely liberating to realize you don’t need someone else to come along and validate you. How could anyone else truly value me and my qualities if I don’t value myself?

What about you? Have you ever taken the time to stop and celebrate your accomplishments, acknowledge the hard things you’ve been through and risen above? Have you itemized your good qualities? Have you witnessed and documented your own character growth?

A little bit of journaling on this could shift everything for you. I highly recommend it. Within your story, within your greatness you may also find that you have something priceless to share.

Affirmations: Validate Yourself

  • I see and embrace my own infinite worth.
  • I value myself.
  • I let go of waiting for other people to validate me.
  • I validate myself.
  • I see, acknowledge and appreciate my talents, gifts, abilities, temperament, personality, and strengths.
  • I am compassionate with myself.
  • I acknowledge the difficulties I’ve endured and the growth I’ve made.
  • I celebrate my successes and I see my own character development over time.
  • I forgive myself for what I perceive as past mistakes.
  • I trust myself to move forward in positive and ever-improving ways.

Additional Resource

validate yourself - radiate your truth worthRadiate Your True Value: Command What You’re Worth

Are you valuing yourself and your true worth? If not, it could be affecting your business and your bottom line. In this energy-shifting audio we’ll connect you up to your value and release anything standing in the way of you accepting and feeling your true worth.

Length: 60 minutes
Audio Download and Handout: $17

 

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

business is about

Are You a Flake or a Fraud Because You Have to Change Directions?

Someone recently accused me of lacking integrity because I have offered various products and services over the last 3 years. She saw my offers as disjointed and unconnected. Of course, I see the connection, but she doesn’t.

Just to give you a little backstory …

When I lost my multi-six figure business literally overnight due to Google changes, I was left to reinvent myself. To be honest, I wasn’t exactly sure what that was supposed to look like. I doubt there are many people whose careers became obsolete overnight who immediately assess a market and instantly create a thriving new business.

Over the last three year…

  • I have consulted people on book publishing (having written/published 25 books I know the process inside out). I still consult people on book publishing and information product creation.
  • I’ve consulted people on business. I have 25, going on 26 years as an entrepreneur and have actually been offering business­-tech consulting for over 20 years.
  • I obtained my SimplyHealedTM Certification before my business setback happened because I wanted to help entrepreneurs with mindset. As I consulted clients, I became very frustrated when clients couldn’t move forward because of emotional and mental blocks that held them captive. SimplyHealed gave me a way to help them swiftly make progress.
  • Recently, I announced a 6-step system I used to find the man of my dreams. I decided to offer this because I had so many people telling me I should. And I’m trying to do what I tell my students… “let your story lead the way.” I’m not a therapist, and I don’t claim to be a relationship expert, but I did learn a lot about what to do and what not to do. I used the SimplyHealed MethodTM to work on myself and clear past traumas and limiting beliefs that tripped me up.

Bottom line, this person who sent me a critical email accused me of lacking integrity because I have offered this variety of services and products over the last three years. She accused me of “doing anything to make a buck.”

I am totally aware that I’ve been tweaking and adapting.  I know that when you aren’t clear about what you offer, there’s no way for your prospective clients to figure out what you’re offering.

The fact this person couldn’t see the connection in my offerings hit a nerve with my own fears and frustrations with the process of tweaking and adapting to find what people need.

I’d been pushing that fear down and ignoring it, but this person forced it to the surface. I’m publicly thanking this person for her criticism because it allowed me to address something important that could be sabotaging my success.

I think you may have experienced similar feelings about yourself. When you put yourself out there (or are thinking of doing so), it’s rare to succeed right out of the box.

It’s easy to let those inner voices (and perhaps outer ones) tell you that you are a fraud or that you are a flake because you have to try so many things to find what works. Or maybe you’re concerned you will come across as lacking integrity because you have so many different interests and are good at a variety of things.

I want to assure you that you are not a flake or a fraud. If you’re like most of my readers or clients, you are highly creative. You possess diverse talents. You could go in a lot of directions successfully.

business is aboutBusiness is all about testing, tweaking and adapting. It’s about experimenting and seeing what works and what doesn’t. It’s about being vulnerable, getting knocked down, getting back up again, falling, staggering to your feet, tweaking your approach, and trying it again, and again and again. It’s continuing even if people judge you or criticize you.

Yes, there will be naysayers or people who want to pull you down like crabs in a bucket. Crabs latch onto any fellow-crab who is about to escape to freedom. People who are too scared to try are all too eager to pull you down.

Don’t listen to them! Don’t listen to that voice in your head that’s telling you that what you have isn’t good enough, or isn’t complete enough, or that you can’t get up one more time. Never say die. Even Edison had to try a thousand variations before he got a light bulb that worked.

When you do find your winning light bulb creation, people will most likely call you an overnight success. They rarely see all the failures, persistence, adaptation, and determination it took for you to wade through a thousand “mistakes” to find your winning combination.

In the meantime, remember you and your gifts are valuable. If you have to put your various talents out there in assorted ways to earn a living for your family, don’t let anyone tell you that you are anything but a hero for doing so. Don’t let anyone tell you that your talents aren’t worth the money customers pay to benefit from them.

In my experience, nothing is wasted. It all comes together in a beautifully orchestrated symphony that brings help and healing to those you are here to serve.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

I Am Titanium

Over the last 3 years, I’ve traveled a rocky road: from business demise to financial stress, from a failed marriage to a broken heart. I’ve often felt more like a battle-worn soldier with her legs blown off, trying to elbow her way off the field than a single entrepreneurial mother of six.

I know I’m not the only one. I know a lot of people have been suffering in the last few years … many in a lot worse situations than mine. When life’s relentless daily and monthly demands march incessantly forward, it’s easy to feel hopeless and trapped. It’s easy to lose confidence when what you used to know how to do doesn’t work anymore. You can lose faith in yourself and God when you can’t trust your judgement, inspiration, or your interpretation of it.

“You don’t know anything!”
“Give up!”
“Forget it!”
“Go get a JOB!”
“Forget your dreams. They’re impossible!”
“People obviously don’t want or need what you’re offering.”

Have you heard those words ricochet between your ears?

I know I have. Eventually you get to a place of complete surrender. Your pride is gone. You don’t feel like you have a right to advise anyone else how to live their lives because the world obviously doesn’t work the way you thought it did.

You feel more like a plastic bag floating across a parking lot than a human being with the ability to choose your path.

Today, I was at the gym and I heard the song, “Titanium.” I’ve heard it before, but never paid attention to the words.  Today, I decided this is my new theme song.

titaniumYou shoot me down
But I get up.
I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium

My friend Martina Muir talks about how we need more than “light, fluffy, energetic shields to protect ourselves. We need shields of fire and metal.” Why not titanium?

So if you’re feeling beat down, as if you don’t have a choice in where your life is heading, crank up this song, sing along and put up your titanium shield!

And remember these lines from Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” voiced by John Galt:

In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice your sense of life to an enemy that would claim your precious mind… Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserve, but have never been able to reach… The world you desire can be won; it exists; it is real; it is possible; it is yours.” – John Galt (Atlas Shrugged III)

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Have You Lost Hope?

When life has slammed you with one disappointment after another, it’s easy to lose faith that anything can be different. Sliding into a state of hopelessness often occurs.

sadwoman-morguefileI know how this feels. I’ve been there, done that. It’s a lonely and powerless place to be. But, in time I discovered a secret for maintaining hope without letting every disappointment crush it.

The secret is in knowing what part you control and what part God controls.

  • You control WHAT you want and WHY you want it.
  • The only WHO you control is you. Let go of trying to control who else is involved or what they choose to do with their lives.
  • Let go of WHEN it will happen, and WHERE.
  • You have a little control over HOW it happens, but mainly God controls that too.
  • Listen and act on inspiration as soon as it comes.
  • In the meantime, hold your vision and live in gratitude. Let whatever comes be enough in that moment.
  • If something doesn’t work out, it just means something better is around the corner. Hold your faith in what you want and why you want it.

This is the essence of what I’ve tried to teach for the last decade. Where did it come from?  How did I gain this insight? I was reading in the Bible where it says Jesus is “the Author and Finisher of our faith.” Every good author covers Who, What, Why, When, Where and How. As an author myself and a bit of a control-freak, I looked at that verse and asked myself what part I control and what part He controls.

I developed this formula and have tested it with time.  It works. When I live by it, I am happier and things work out.

Whenever I get antsy, disappointed, or irritated that my life is out of control, I check to see if I’m trying to control one of the elements that aren’t mine to control. If I am, I give that to God and let it go.

What If You Don’t Trust God Anymore?

But what if you’ve been slammed so many times you’ve lost your trust in God. You may gain no comfort from my formula. You may be wondering, “Is God there? Does He even care about me? I’m all on my own. The only person I can count on is me.”

I can understand feeling like you can’t count on God. I can relate to not feeling trust or hope or faith. I’ve been there. A lot of my clients have experienced the same thing.

The energy therapy I do has been an immense part of my journey. It has helped me process the trauma and disappointments of the past and let them go. It’s reconnected me to hope, faith and trust in God.

That’s one of the most common results I see in my clients from the beginning of a session to the end. They move from overwhelm and hopelessness to a feeling of peace, hope and gratitude by the end.

That’s why I love my work. It’s so rewarding to assist people in regaining their hope, faith and trust in God and in themselves.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Overcome the 7 Obstacles to Success

For several years, I just wouldn’t do it. Wouldn’t do the very thing I’m good at.

Have you ever resisted the very thing you’ve been called to do?

Why did I avoid consulting people?

Because I could tell my clients were not going to follow through. I’d give them sound business and marketing advice, but I could sense they had some kind of belief, block or limitation that would derail them.

I hated taking people’s money and them not get results. So I stopped consulting. I didn’t pick it back up until I learned how to help people move past the typical fears and roadblocks to success.

You might be wondering what those roadblocks are and whether you have some of them yourself. Here
are 7 of the most common ones I’ve identified…

  • Fear of Success
  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear of Confrontation
  • Scarcity Thinking
  • Fear of Being Exposed / Embarrassed
  • Inability to attract supportive colleagues / clients
  • And taking responsibility for things you can’t control

If you’re struggling with any of these (and most people are to some degree), I invite you to join me starting Monday for Breakthrough to Radiance.

Break through these 7 obstacles and achieve YOUR next level of success!

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Is Your Receiver Broken?

Did you know there is a whole energy around giving and receiving? Try this. Exhale and count to 30 slowly. Can you do it? Probably not. At some point you’re going to need to inhale. Receiving is every bit as important as giving.

giving and receivingAs an energy practitioner, one of the first things I learned is how emotions and feelings are mapped to the body. Energetically speaking, the right side of the body represents the “giving side” or the “male side.” The left side of the body represents the “receiving side” or the “female side.”  The right side also has to do with being aggressive while the left represents being passive.

So let’s say you have a pain in your left shoulder, it could be related to a burden you’re carrying that is female-related or that relates to family. It could have to do with not receiving the help you need to carry that burden, or not being open to receiving.  The right shoulder can typically relate to financial burdens (think provider male).

When I first learned about this right/giving/male vs left/receiving/female aspect to energy, I was thrown a bit. Why? I always perceived women as givers and men as receivers. Having been in a role-reversed marriage, I saw myself as the giver and my male partner as the taker. Frankly, that could have been caused by my expectations more than what the other person was or wasn’t willing to do. I’ll own that.

Whatever the reason, I was on permanent exhale, never taking in a solid inhale. As a result, I quickly became depleted. My well was dry.

Over the last couple years, I’ve felt myself being reprogrammed to receive. Through a series of setbacks, life has put me in positions where I HAVE to receive. I have to ask for help. Recently, I’ve met a man who is very much a giver / provider. Here’s an example. He came to my house, assessed the repairs that were needed, took me to Home Depot, bought the necessary items to make repairs (wouldn’t let me pay) and proceeded to fix my house. The whole thing felt so odd to me, wonderfully, beautifully, odd. And I realized I still have a lot to learn about receiving.

I’m very grateful for this beautiful man who is showing me what a giving male looks like and is helping me embrace more of my femininity. Giving is not better than receiving. Both are necessary and I hope to one day find that natural breathing balance.

About Marnie Marcus

Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.