In relationships, there are often those who feel entitled (USERS) and those who are so kind-hearted they have no clear boundaries and don’t know how to say “no.”
People who are lazy and feel the world owes them something tend to select relationship partners who are kind-hearted, hard-working, giving and boundary-less (OVER-PRODUCERS). In the end, the USER becomes helplessly enabled and the OVER-PRODUCER ends up used, crushed, and depleted.
Should an Over-Producer decide to break free of the abusive dynamic, the User will employ a variety of manipulative tactics — including guilt tripping the person they’re sucking dry, lying, shifting blame, making excuses, deflecting people’s focus off of them, and even violence (click here to learn more about their manipulative tactics).
What’s True for Individuals Is True of Nations
The same dynamic is going on at a national and global level. The Users are draining the Over-Producers dry. And if anyone dares say the Over-Producers are being used and should set boundaries that protect them from abuse, then the Users call them names, accuse them of phobias, racism, cruelty and a myriad of other “politically incorrect” vices.
Let’s face it, no tick wants to be removed from its host. It will always burrow in deeper when threatened with removal.
The sad part is when other kind-hearted (yet naive) Over-Producers haven’t awakened to the fact that they’re being used, and fight their fellow producers.
One of my favorite books on this subject is Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. It’s definitely worth the read if you struggle with being an Over-Producer. It changed my life, awakened me to how I was enabling others, and reading it was the first step to my recovery.
“If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders – What would you tell him?”
I…don’t know. What…could he do? What would you tell him?”
Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged.
It’s time for America to Shrug! Is it time for you to shrug too?