Rather Listen than Read?
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
In the Light Bearer process, there is a phase I call “Transparency” that is akin to a caterpillar entering a cocoon and emerging as an entirely new creature. This phase is right before the “Shining” phase. Did you know that a caterpillar completely liquefies inside the cocoon? Everything is annihilated and becomes different. Every cell is changed and what emerges is nothing like what entered that dark place.
I spent about eighteen months going through this process. I lost my business, my marriage, and went through a great deal of stress related to my children. As I felt myself emerging from the cocoon, I wondered, “What in the world am I now?” It really did feel like old things were passed away and all things had become new.
Does the caterpillar know it’s a butterfly when it emerges? Does it still try to function as a caterpillar for a while? Or is its brain even rewired to know it is a butterfly? I’m not sure we as humans find it as easy to let go of the past, of who we used to be. I think we sit perplexed for a while wondering, “What are these things that look like wings?” (as Julie de Azevedo Hanks wrote in her song “Wings”)
I entered the cocoon and emerged as a foreign creature. I didn’t know who I was or what function I served. Was I still the same Marnie? Or someone entirely different? I constantly kept asking God to tell me what this new life entailed. What was my life supposed to look like as a single mother? How was my business supposed to look?
I ended up extremely confused. I kept waiting for someone to come along and tell me what I was. Or I found myself morphing into being like whoever I was with. Neither of these choices proved successful.
It finally occurred to me that maybe this new creature is whoever I decide she is. What if I’d been waiting for life, nature, God or someone else to tell me who and what I am, but it was up to me to decide?
What if I am whoever I decide I am? The question then is “Who do I want to be? The psalmist wrote:
“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalms 37:4
If my desire is to be who God wants me to be, then perhaps who I desire to be is who He wants me to be. What if I already know – just as the butterfly knows she’s a butterfly without some external influence having to tell her?
I took out a pen and paper and started writing whatever came to mind first.
Who I Choose to Be
• I am a daughter of God who serves and lifts those around her.
• I am a seeker of truth who makes truth an integral part of my life and personality, thus enabling me to share that truth with others.
• I am a woman who builds others up, helping them be the best they can be as I continue to develop my own mind, body, personality and gifts for the benefit and use of my God, family, country and fellowman.
• I am a spiritual creator. I decide and the spiritual and natural worlds move into creation.
• I am a woman of vitality, life and beauty.
• I am a beacon of hope, a fortress of strength, a light in an ever-darkening world.
• I am a friend, a lover and confidant.
• I am a healer, a liberator, a clarion call of truth and freedom.
• I am free, I am confident, I am whole.
• I am love.
• I am beautiful and radiant.
• I am solid and true
• I am spontaneous and fun.
• I am nature loving and flexible.
• I am resilient and determined.
• I am peace and I am calm.
• I am divine, a human articulation of the feminine side of God.
• I am someone who heals whatever and whoever she touches. I leave everything better for having interacted with it.
• I am a pioneer, an innovator, a creator.
• I make the difficult simple.
• I make the overwhelming doable.
• I inspire.
• I teach.
• I model.
• I believe in God, myself and you.
• I am a conduit of abundance, light and truth.
• This is who I am and who I choose to be.
Who do you choose to be? What if you’re supposed to stop waiting for someone to tell you who you are and decide for yourself? Take out a pen and paper and decide today!
This an excerpt from Stop Blaming God or the Devil for Your Mess, available on Amazon via Kindle for only 99 cents!
Marnie (Pehrson) Marcus is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.