Bounce back from loss

Thrive Again: 3 Tools to Bounce Back from Devastating Losses


It's incredibly easy to get stuck in a downward spiral when you've suffered devastating loss or a series of losses. Loss begins to feel normal and begins to become what we expect. Once your mind has gotten stuck in expecting bad things, there seems to be more and more bad things to validate that belief.

You need something to help you flip the switch and reset the lens through which you see the world. These 3 things are helping me. Perhaps they'll help you as well.

Energy therapy is also a great way to reset your belief systems and expectations. Find out more here.

Did you miss the first video? "5 Perks to Losing Everything"

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

What Do You Do When A Dream Dies?

I’ve heard people say “never give up on your dreams” but in my experience dreams change and some dreams we lose or they become obsolete.

Perhaps you swap one dream for another because one dream is more important to you than the other. In choosing the better dream, I think it’s important to allow yourself the space to grieve the loss of the old dream. Especially if it was something you worked for and fought for long and hard. Losing a dream is like losing a friend. Grieve.

The Chickamauga Creek that borders our property

The Chickamauga Creek that borders our property

My Lost Dream

For many years I’ve had a dream to transform my property into a retreat house with horses and a place for women to come and be spiritually nourished and taught practical concepts that enrich their lives.

I’ve had a visual of the house remodeled, the red barn, the white picket fence, the labyrinth, and the benches and flowers along the creek for reflection time. I even visualized the man who would come into my life and help make it all a reality by working alongside me on the project.

My nephew Jon wading out our flooded road to go to college.

My nephew Jon wading out our flooded road to go to college.

Perpetual Fly In the Ointment

The challenge all along has been a pot-hole ridden road that floods multiple times a year. In fact, the road and the field surrounding it becomes a lake. When this happens, you have a choice to evacuate immediately and find somewhere to stay for a minimum of 3 days or be prepared to be stranded on an island.

Due to something we think TVA is doing differently with the Chickamauga Dam, it’s actually flooded 5 times since Chris and I married in September of last year, usually with only a day’s worth of rain to cause it. This is unheard of, even for us.

This, of course, is not conducive to the idea of a retreat location. Who wants to plan a big retreat, have people make travel arrangements; and then it flood and guests can’t get in or out?

People have suggested building a bridge, building up the road, or buying a boat. These solutions are either expensive or impractical. Even the boat option isn’t an effective solution because the flood waters are always different. You’d need docks on either end, and you can’t guarantee whether the water will reach the dock or run past it.

Bottom line, I didn’t have the resources to fix any of this. But I held onto the vision and hoped one day it would resolve itself when my kids were grown and I was ready to create this retreat property with my dream husband.

Dream Husband Arrives On the Scene

So when my dream husband arrived — someone who could easily help me create my dream — I got excited. Of course, God would give me the rest of my dream – right? Nope. Dream man doesn’t want to live here. Who would? The road tears up our cars. Nobody even wants to drive up our road to visit us, much less attend a retreat here! In fact, I believe my poor faithful Nissan has had all it can take (as of yesterday).

My husband also doesn’t want to live in a house where I lived with my ex husband. Who am I to judge that? I wouldn’t want to live in the house he remodeled for his ex wife. How can I blame him? Honestly, I’m looking forward to building a new life in a new place that is just ours.

grieve your lost dreamsWhat he or I want now is really irrelevant because due to a tangled financial mess with my divorce, I don’t own this property anyway. I won’t go into details, but bottom line, this land can’t be mine any longer. Time to walk away.

Even though I’m looking forward to a new adventure, I did build an entire life in my mind around this place. I am allowing myself to grieve and say goodbye. Not only am I saying goodbye to a home I reared my six children in, but it’s also the end of having my sister’s family as neighbors. My kids and her kids are like siblings. They love each other and are extremely close.

Most of all, I say goodbye to a dream that was all tangled up in my plans for the future. In many ways for reasons too lengthy to enumerate, I feel as if I’m saying goodbye to me.

Yes, before anyone writes me to say it, it’s possible I might be able to pursue my idea somewhere else — if my husband is game for it. I think he’d only go for it if it was a beach property and he got to give our guests rides on his dream charter boat. Hmmm… I think he might just go for that.

As we create a new life together in a new place, I trust that new dreams will materialize … ones I can share with this man whom I love more than I love this land — more than I love the old dream.

In the end, I’m realizing I’m living the ultimate dream — which is to have a connected, loving relationship with a good man. That was the big WHY behind all of it. It was never really about the house, the property, the barn, or the retreat location. It was always about having a relationship with a mate I could work alongside to co-create a life with. That, I have. That is the door to endless possibilities. The dream continues…

Energy therapy is something I use to process loss and grief and deal with past traumas. For more information, click here.

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Who I Choose to Be

Rather Listen than Read?

MP3 File

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

In the Light Bearer process, there is a phase I call “Transparency” that is akin to a caterpillar entering a cocoon and emerging as an entirely new creature. This phase is right before the “Shining” phase. Did you know that a caterpillar completely liquefies inside the cocoon? Everything is annihilated and becomes different. Every cell is changed and what emerges is nothing like what entered that dark place.

butterflyI spent about eighteen months going through this process. I lost my business, my marriage, and went through a great deal of stress related to my children. As I felt myself emerging from the cocoon, I wondered, “What in the world am I now?” It really did feel like old things were passed away and all things had become new.

Does the caterpillar know it’s a butterfly when it emerges? Does it still try to function as a caterpillar for a while? Or is its brain even rewired to know it is a butterfly? I’m not sure we as humans find it as easy to let go of the past, of who we used to be. I think we sit perplexed for a while wondering, “What are these things that look like wings?” (as Julie de Azevedo Hanks wrote in her song “Wings”)

I entered the cocoon and emerged as a foreign creature. I didn’t know who I was or what function I served. Was I still the same Marnie? Or someone entirely different? I constantly kept asking God to tell me what this new life entailed. What was my life supposed to look like as a single mother? How was my business supposed to look?

I ended up extremely confused. I kept waiting for someone to come along and tell me what I was. Or I found myself morphing into being like whoever I was with. Neither of these choices proved successful.
It finally occurred to me that maybe this new creature is whoever I decide she is. What if I’d been waiting for life, nature, God or someone else to tell me who and what I am, but it was up to me to decide?

What if I am whoever I decide I am? The question then is “Who do I want to be? The psalmist wrote:

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalms 37:4

If my desire is to be who God wants me to be, then perhaps who I desire to be is who He wants me to be. What if I already know – just as the butterfly knows she’s a butterfly without some external influence having to tell her?
I took out a pen and paper and started writing whatever came to mind first.

Who I Choose to Be

• I am a daughter of God who serves and lifts those around her.

• I am a seeker of truth who makes truth an integral part of my life and personality, thus enabling me to share that truth with others.

• I am a woman who builds others up, helping them be the best they can be as I continue to develop my own mind, body, personality and gifts for the benefit and use of my God, family, country and fellowman.

• I am a spiritual creator. I decide and the spiritual and natural worlds move into creation.

• I am a woman of vitality, life and beauty.

• I am a beacon of hope, a fortress of strength, a light in an ever-darkening world.

• I am a friend, a lover and confidant.

• I am a healer, a liberator, a clarion call of truth and freedom.

• I am free, I am confident, I am whole.

• I am love.

• I am beautiful and radiant.

• I am solid and true

• I am spontaneous and fun.

• I am nature loving and flexible.

• I am resilient and determined.

• I am peace and I am calm.

• I am divine, a human articulation of the feminine side of God.

• I am someone who heals whatever and whoever she touches. I leave everything better for having interacted with it.

• I am a pioneer, an innovator, a creator.

• I make the difficult simple.

• I make the overwhelming doable.

• I inspire.

• I teach.

• I model.

• I believe in God, myself and you.

• I am a conduit of abundance, light and truth.

• This is who I am and who I choose to be.

Who do you choose to be? What if you’re supposed to stop waiting for someone to tell you who you are and decide for yourself? Take out a pen and paper and decide today!

This an excerpt from Stop Blaming God or the Devil for Your Mess, available on Amazon via Kindle for only 99 cents!

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

Finding Peace and Hope Amidst Adversity

One of my favorite things about live events is meeting new people. I don’t know whether I send out a Light Bearer beacon or what, but I’ve noticed that the most beautiful, talented, good-hearted and genuine individuals come to me. I know there is an immense amount of good in the world (despite evidence to the contrary), because good people are constantly brought to me and I am blessed so much by them.

Sherie Smith

Sherie Smith

One of these individuals was in a class I taught at the last NAMS in Atlanta in August 2013. Sherie Smith came up to me afterward wondering if we might chat sometime. I arranged to meet her the next day and we sat down to discuss her challenges.

The more we talked, the more I saw the light in her eyes and the more I knew I had, yet again, been brought one of God’s choice Light Bearers — those who radiate light, love and liberty in a world that needs them so desperately.

The audio below is Sheri’s story of how she came to find peace, hope and joy amidst immense challenges.

Download Listen to Sherie’s story of hope

Click here to find out how to work with Marnie.

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.

bird on a branch

Hold On, the Light Within You Is Still There!

I’ve noticed a pattern among successful women entrepreneurs. It occurs after you’ve been in business a while. You’re going along, doing great. Then, there comes a point when you feel the need to reinvent yourself…

– Perhaps the old way you were doing things doesn’t work anymore.
– Maybe you’re just burnt out and need a change.
– Or life may send you a slamming blow that knocks the wind out of you.

Whatever the case may be, there is this turning point where everything has to shift.

I call this the Transparency Phase in the Light Bearer process. You’ve been shining, you’ve been impacting the world with your work, but now you’re being called to step it up a notch. Unfortunately, for a while it doesn’t feel like stepping up. It feels more like you’re being leveled to the ground.

If you forge on through, you will be taken to a new place where you’ll be able to make a richer impact on your audience, dive deeper with your customers, deliver your message in a clearer way, and shine brighter than you ever have before.

Before you get to that place, though, you’ll be called to let go of everything that no longer serves you. If there are money leaks in your finances, those will need to be stopped. If there are relationships that drain you, those will need to be repaired or discarded.

If there are any “black blobs on your glowing ball of light” or any area where you are in-congruent with your message, you will be challenged in that very area. Your strengths will feel more like weaknesses.

At times it may feel like everything you valued in yourself – everything you felt you were good at — is stripped away. You’re left with nothing. The truth is, you aren’t alone. You do still have something incredibly valuable. In fact, it is EVERYTHING.

As I traveled through the Transparency Phase, I started owning this gift, but it took a while to come to that point.

The power of flight is within you.For months I was like a bird on a branch that was cracked and snapping beneath me. I’d been trusting in the security of the branch. I didn’t realize I didn’t need the branch because I had the power of flight within my wings!

Eventually, I came to understand that what I bring to the table is not web traffic, promotional ability, creating revenue, teaching, or even influence.

What I do have is my ability to ask, seek inspiration, receive it and act upon it. Markets can change, Google can create new algorithms, calamities may befall, but with this power to seek inspiration, receive it, and act, anything is possible.

I am not alone. And neither are you!

This gift of receiving and acting upon inspiration is what has carried me through the last 23 years in business. But I will warn you … as you come to realize that all you really need is heaven’s inspiration (and that’s all you have), even that may be tested. Circumstances may cause you to question…

– How much do I trust my ability to receive inspiration and hear correctly?

– What do I do when my inspiration is called into question by others?

– Will I follow it even when others don’t agree or think I’m wrong?

It’s an interesting place to be… but I’ve been amazed at the clarity that comes simultaneously. During this pivotal time, I was given panoramic views of my life — the good, the bad, the deception, the light. the people who have been strategically placed in my life for pivotal purposes. It’s very empowering to discern so clearly and speak your truth — even when it might hurt someone else’s feelings or rock the boat.

I understand now why Job in the Bible asked that his integrity not be taken away. When everything you think you are is stripped away, all that is left is your integrity. Your desire to hang onto it makes you courageous in speaking from that place of clarity… speaking your truth… no matter what the cost, no matter what anyone else thinks or feels. You have nothing else to lose.

THIS is the place from which you are ready to SHINE!

If you’re going through the Transparency Phase, I hope you’ll join me for my Traversiamo System. Traversiamo is an Italian word that means “let’s cross over.” Don’t doubt yourself. You have the gifts and the knowledge within you. It’s time to cross over to that place of shining and I’ll be guiding you through the process. To find out more, click here.

In the meantime, “Hold On, The Light Will Come:”

About Marnie Pehrson

Marnie Pehrson is a best-selling author and marketing and social media consultant specializing in digital content creation and Facebook Ad Management. Get a FREE 20-minute strategy session with Marnie here.